Writing to express oneself versus writing a story others want to read can be two very different processes. The first is raw; the second is edited. The path in between is not linear. For me, I began my story with an idea about a self-isolated, ungrounded woman who lives in her head without a sense of where she belongs in the world, except in studying ancient history, anthropology, and archaeology. Her full identity revolves around her academic life, first as a student and later as a researcher and a professor. From a somatic experiencing perspective, (a method of trauma resolution which focuses on feeling more embodied), Klara, the protagonist of Klara’s Truth, is quite disembodied and has no idea of what this even means for her. One thing it clearly means is that she lives a disconnected, lonely life with few consistent relationships, including with herself and her body—those she mostly ignores except when clearly needing attention due to hunger or fatigue and occasionally sex. However, her past experiences participating in and heading archaeological digs have allowed her to touch actual artifacts, helping her to feel like she does matter, just like all those who came before her. This then supports her in taking the huge leap to travel to Poland to pay her final respects to her beloved, late father, and to form important bonds with his family.
As a novice published storyteller, coming from a place of writing what naturally came to me, I had neither a structure nor outline of any sort when starting Klara’s Truth. After writing several pages and even chapters, I went back to reread my work, knowing their were holes in it. Later in sharing it with others, I was encouraged to change story parts around, eliminate pieces, and expand on other areas. This was hard work. At times it felt like a puzzle I was trying to solve, I just had to figure out which pieces belonged where. And when I did, it was exciting. But often it took time, and I needed to practice patience. The most difficult challenge was in letting go of what I perceived to be integral parts I had worked on, and to which I was deeply connected. I just didn’t want to separate from them as they felt like a part of me. I think that creators of all sorts struggle with this— deleting, editing, and even severing a part of their creation when necessary. If a main purpose of your final work is to get it out in the world, and for me it was, then the above is necessary, and to do so, one must reach a point of acceptance in letting go.
Interestingly, during the process of writing and editing Klara’s Truth, in furthering my work as a psychotherapist, I did trainings in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing- another method of trauma resolution), in addition to Somatic Experiencing, incorporating them into my work with clients. In working with various forms of trauma, including neglect, I thought about Klara, and her need to be healed. Healing happens in many forms— organic and prescribed. Klara heals through relationships with her father’s family in Poland, and ultimately tries to be in a romantic relationship. She also starts the process of her own psychotherapy for the first time, which includes EMDR as she gets ready to go back to New York and possibly see her mother. As the author, I’ve had the pleasure of taking this journey with Klara, not being sure where it would necessarily go, but always feeling certain that she would accomplish what she needed to in order to move forward in her life.
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