What is there to say when there is so much disagreement, anger, and fury among us— when people on all sides think they’re right; no, they know they’re right.
Trauma breeds more trauma, creating hate, fear, otherness and enemies out of neighbors, friends, and sometimes even family members. It creates brittleness and inflexibility. It tunes out our senses and makes it hard for us to clearly think. Since the brutal events of October 7th visited upon Israeli citizens by Hamas, long dormant ugliness has been unleashed, and people now feel much more comfortable sharing their prejudices. It’s ugliness that we all knew existed, but thought was manageable and under wraps. Since that day, this can no longer be said anywhere in the world.
What I want to talk about here is what we can do about this trauma we are all experiencing regardless of on which side we may find ourselves. Current trauma triggers old historical pain for many of us as well as the present day suffering that is occurring. One mutually triggers the other, so that we are left feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, not heard, unsafe, and misunderstood, not to mention rageful. What can we do about these feelings? It is all too much in too condensed a manner. In many cases, there are few words that may accurately express how alone and cut off we feel from others as well as from ourselves. We may begin to question where we fit in the world that just yesterday seemed to flow much more easily and comfortably. We may feel like we need to look over our shoulder and be more hyper vigilant about whom we can trust.
Rather than be reactive, or just react, we need to make space for ourselves through self-care, and reflection. We need to allow our nervous systems to settle first and to then reenergize, so that we can then begin to have dialogues with one another, hopefully across aisles, nations, religions, and the world at large. Trauma leads to fight, flight, and freeze. The first step we must take is to stop metaphorically and in fact fighting with and fleeing from one another, and to thaw out our nervous systems by recognizing we are in a state of trauma and make the choice to break it.
This takes effort, and being with people we trust before we can then move on to interacting with others who we may mistrust. We must take stock of where all this chaos is leading us, and consider what we want for ourselves, our children, and the future of human kind.
It is certainly hard to do when war and tempers are raging, but if we don’t do this, the cycle of trauma will continue, repeating itself. We must take an individual and communal exhale, ground our bodies and our minds in what does feel safe and okay, and allow for more time to stretch out before we react. We must continue to do this, and to do so through small steps, as large ones may feel like too much. It is this “too muchness” that we must sit with for short, manageable periods of time. Therapy is helpful, taking naps can help, downtime can help, and at times being with our families and communities can help. Bodywork and exercise can help, as well as going for a walk. It is up to each of us to do our part in compassionately deescalating the effects of trauma that have been foisted upon us.
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